Happy Pills (A Bunny Fanfiction)
by CrazeFaze
Summary: When clinically depressed Butters Stotch is asked to come off his pills and face all of his bursting emotions, he learns to shove them away and become who he thinks he is, but is it truly?
1. Chapter 1

**_**Dear tracker,**_**

 _ ** **Do you ever feel like a ghost?****_

 ** **You know. Just an invisible mess leaving behind trails of ectoplasm wherever you go? That's me! After the um...the 'tragic' death of my parents, Tweek and Craig suggested I go to a therapist. It's nice that they care for me, even if I don't deserve it half of the time. Anyway, the therapist gave me what I call ' happy pills'. They're anti-depressants really. The work in a way that it balances the neurotransmitters in my brain. They were working, just not as good as they were supposed to. So recently, she took me off them. I feel like a RAGING PILE OF FUCKING GARBAGE! Apparently this would be a 'preferred alternative'. She thinks I'm too young. That's why it didn't work. The pills top heavy the neurotransmitters just making me worse. I learnt all this in therapy. I don't know why it gets such a bad rep. I still don't get how I can go to school tomorrow. I'll figure out.****

 ** **23/07/18****

Butters stotch's POV:

I tear my hand from the tiny red book. I like it, and hate it. That's a problem for me in a lot of ways. I'm always so tempted to spilling ever last dirty detail in there, but I cant. There's a lot of things no one, not even my therapist, knows. I let out a yawn fall backwards onto my head from the counter top. I hiss and lie there. The longer I stare at the ceiling, the more deformed it gets. It scares me. It thrills me. A broken refection of me appears. It whispers about how good everything could be if I took my pills. All at once. I sit up with shivers down my spine. It happens all the time, yet it still scares the absolute shit out of my body. I sat lifelessly for a good 30 minuets or so when I heard my loud ass door ring. I tumble downstairs leaving new, fresh bruises against my pale ass skin. I sigh and reach for the door.

It swings open unexpectedly and nearly took off my whole face. I say that as if I would care. Behind the mass killer door is a familiar face. My best friend since... since a few weeks ago! I raise an eyebrow.

" W-what are you doing here?" I queried, Wait why'd I stutter.

" Um just checking up. Not talked in a while. Can I come in, it's cold." He demonstrated that last part by wrapping his forearm around his elbow. I sigh and smile.

" Sure thing fella!" I grin, sickly sweet. I hate when I say fellas. I mutter something inaudibly. He follows me to the living room. The couch is small and rugged, so we take a seat on the floor. In the corner, I see him by his orange parka fidgeting relentlessly. I put an arm over his chest.

" Ugh just stop." I groan. He looked back at me in confusion. It's because I'm never one to tell someone to stop nevertheless in such a tone. I don't know why, but I smirked triumphantly in his face. Either way he stopped. I turned the news on. It was about suicide. Yay. I'm not tuning in until I hear a familiar name.

" As today a young boy known as Scott Malkinson.." I gasp in disbelief, covering my face in shame.

" H-hey what's wrong?" He carefully pried my face from my hands. Clear tears fell onto his hands. He turned the source of the pain off.

" I need to go." I got up but he pulled me back down. My hearts began to fall ever so slowly to my stomach.

" Tell me please. I-I'll help you." His voice was so smooth it was gnawing at my heart. My knees buckled and I fell into his arms.

" T-that bo-boy.. I s-saw hi-m h-urting himse-lf ... I S-aid. I-I'll he-lp you th-through thi-s. I f-ailed h-him.. he's-he's..." My face gradually turned to blank TV. I took a look at my reflection except. It wasn't me there. It was that boy. His body's thin and scarred as his face. What can I even say... His eyes look like a drab day in autumn. Nothing alive anymore. His hope must've been stripped from him a long time ago. I stop crying. I growl and turn to McCormick. My fists balled and teeth gritting.

" You. Need. To. LEAVE!" I screeched at him. He nodded his head and left the room. I hugged myself. I'll never see him again. Why am I such a screw up? Why do people leave me? Why do people love me? Why am I me? Just God why... I grasp a pillow and project my anger and fear on to it. The end result is a torn apart piece of fabric with stuffing that's soggy from tears. I dug for my blade underneath the couch. There was already an array of them on my forearm. I smiled and dragged the blade across each 10 more times. Each mistake equals 10. No matter what. It's the same as a dad hitting a kid for 'discipline', isn't it though?

I peer out the living room to see Kenny in the corridor. He sees me and instinctively I hug him.

" I'm sorry... I know you didn't come here just to see me break down, did ya?" I chuckle. He bits his lip in a concerned manner as he draws his hand across my blonde hair.

" That's what I wanted to talk about. Craig told me that your off those pills. I wanna do everything in my power to make you feel better." He murmured, picking me up. I was pissed off and so happy.

" So if I was still on them or if Craig kept is mouth shut then-then you wouldn't have come." I was purposely digging to piss him off. I don't know why. He shook his head and laughed. I did too. Again, no reason why.

" Butters don't you talk to charlotte anymore? She seems to make you happy." He asks with the slightest, and I mean tiny, amount of distain in his voice.

" A-always busy. That or she hates me.." I lay my head in the crook of his neck. He tuts and says that's no way for a good girlfriend to act. I giggled.

" Ken can you t-tuck me in? And r-read me to b-" Before I finished the rest of that embarrassing request McCormick was already on his way upstairs and into my room. He softly laid me down and raised my fluffy covers up to my neck.

" What story?" He asks. There's 4 to choose from.

" Um... My big sister takes drugs?" I suggested.

" Wooh! Someone's trying to get nightmares." He smiled. He pulled the beige book out and sat down reading it out.

3rd Person's POV:

A while had passed by. Kenny had finished and Butters was fast asleep. He laid a gentle but rapid kiss on his forehead before leaving.

" Don't let th-the monster hurt me..." Butters whimpered.

 ** _ **Dear tracker,**_**

 _ ** **Do you ever feel like a ghost?****_

 ** **You know. Just an invisible mess leaving behind trails of ectoplasm wherever you go? That's me! After the um...the 'tragic' death of my parents, Tweek and Craig suggested I go to a therapist. It's nice that they care for me, even if I don't deserve it half of the time. Anyway, the therapist gave me what I call ' happy pills'. They're anti-depressants really. The work in a way that it balances the neurotransmitters in my brain. They were working, just not as good as they were supposed to. So recently, she took me off them. I feel like a RAGING PILE OF FUCKING GARBAGE! Apparently this would be a 'preferred alternative'. She thinks I'm too young. That's why it didn't work. The pills top heavy the neurotransmitters just making me worse. I learnt all this in therapy. I don't know why it gets such a bad rep. I still don't get how I can go to school tomorrow. I'll figure out.****

 ** **23/07/18****

Butters stotch's POV:

I tear my hand from the tiny red book. I like it, and hate it. That's a problem for me in a lot of ways. I'm always so tempted to spilling ever last dirty detail in there, but I cant. There's a lot of things no one, not even my therapist, knows. I let out a yawn fall backwards onto my head from the counter top. I hiss and lie there. The longer I stare at the ceiling, the more deformed it gets. It scares me. It thrills me. A broken refection of me appears. It whispers about how good everything could be if I took my pills. All at once. I sit up with shivers down my spine. It happens all the time, yet it still scares the absolute shit out of my body. I sat lifelessly for a good 30 minuets or so when I heard my loud ass door ring. I tumble downstairs leaving new, fresh bruises against my pale ass skin. I sigh and reach for the door.

It swings open unexpectedly and nearly took off my whole face. I say that as if I would care. Behind the mass killer door is a familiar face. My best friend since... since a few weeks ago! I raise an eyebrow.

" W-what are you doing here?" I queried, Wait why'd I stutter.

" Um just checking up. Not talked in a while. Can I come in, it's cold." He demonstrated that last part by wrapping his forearm around his elbow. I sigh and smile.

" Sure thing fella!" I grin, sickly sweet. I hate when I say fellas. I mutter something inaudibly. He follows me to the living room. The couch is small and rugged, so we take a seat on the floor. In the corner, I see him by his orange parka fidgeting relentlessly. I put an arm over his chest.

" Ugh just stop." I groan. He looked back at me in confusion. It's because I'm never one to tell someone to stop nevertheless in such a tone. I don't know why, but I smirked triumphantly in his face. Either way he stopped. I turned the news on. It was about suicide. Yay. I'm not tuning in until I hear a familiar name.

" As today a young boy known as Scott Malkinson.." I gasp in disbelief, covering my face in shame.

" H-hey what's wrong?" He carefully pried my face from my hands. Clear tears fell onto his hands. He turned the source of the pain off.

" I need to go." I got up but he pulled me back down. My hearts began to fall ever so slowly to my stomach.

" Tell me please. I-I'll help you." His voice was so smooth it was gnawing at my heart. My knees buckled and I fell into his arms.

" T-that bo-boy.. I s-saw hi-m h-urting himse-lf ... I S-aid. I-I'll he-lp you th-through thi-s. I f-ailed h-him.. he's-he's..." My face gradually turned to blank TV. I took a look at my reflection except. It wasn't me there. It was that boy. His body's thin and scarred as his face. What can I even say... His eyes look like a drab day in autumn. Nothing alive anymore. His hope must've been stripped from him a long time ago. I stop crying. I growl and turn to McCormick. My fists balled and teeth gritting.

" You. Need. To. LEAVE!" I screeched at him. He nodded his head and left the room. I hugged myself. I'll never see him again. Why am I such a screw up? Why do people leave me? Why do people love me? Why am I me? Just God why... I grasp a pillow and project my anger and fear on to it. The end result is a torn apart piece of fabric with stuffing that's soggy from tears. I dug for my blade underneath the couch. There was already an array of them on my forearm. I smiled and dragged the blade across each 10 more times. Each mistake equals 10. No matter what. It's the same as a dad hitting a kid for 'discipline', isn't it though?

I peer out the living room to see Kenny in the corridor. He sees me and instinctively I hug him.

" I'm sorry... I know you didn't come here just to see me break down, did ya?" I chuckle. He bits his lip in a concerned manner as he draws his hand across my blonde hair.

" That's what I wanted to talk about. Craig told me that your off those pills. I wanna do everything in my power to make you feel better." He murmured, picking me up. I was pissed off and so happy.

" So if I was still on them or if Craig kept is mouth shut then-then you wouldn't have come." I was purposely digging to piss him off. I don't know why. He shook his head and laughed. I did too. Again, no reason why.

" Butters don't you talk to charlotte anymore? She seems to make you happy." He asks with the slightest, and I mean tiny, amount of distain in his voice.

" A-always busy. That or she hates me.." I lay my head in the crook of his neck. He tuts and says that's no way for a good girlfriend to act. I giggled.

" Ken can you t-tuck me in? And r-read me to b-" Before I finished the rest of that embarrassing request McCormick was already on his way upstairs and into my room. He softly laid me down and raised my fluffy covers up to my neck.

" What story?" He asks. There's 4 to choose from.

" Um... My big sister takes drugs?" I suggested.

" Wooh! Someone's trying to get nightmares." He smiled. He pulled the beige book out and sat down reading it out.

3rd Person's POV:

A while had passed by. Kenny had finished and Butters was fast asleep. He laid a gentle but rapid kiss on his forehead before leaving.

" Don't let th-the monster hurt me..." Butters whimpered.

/ Yes my big sister takes drugs is a real book/


	2. Chapter 2

****Dear Tracker,****

 ** **help. Help. HElp. HELP! ARGHHH I'VE REALLY SCREWED UP! I let him die! I should've been there. I don't feel like writing or doing anything at all.****

 ** **24/07/18****

Butters' POV:

My breaths steady whilst time passes. My mind eases and I get up out of bed. Why am I freaking out? I hardly new him. But. If it had been me, I would've hated that person for giving false hope. Knees shaking and tears arising, my small legs become weak once again and I fall to my face.

"Why why why WHY!" I screeched, trembling all over. What happens now. Does one just stay thinking about h- Again my fucking doorbell.

" IT'S FUCKING OPEN!" I scream at whoever it was. A nasally voice calls out. Whimpers leave my mouth. Footsteps clacked upstairs. Tweek's high pitched voice now accompanied Craig's. The couple entered through the broken door. Tweek let out a perturbed squeak. The tall blue boy knelt to around my current level.

" Hey Butters?" He whispered as calm as ever.

" LE-LEAVE ME! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM!" My screams were joint with cries and heavy breathing. The crazy blonde haired boy jumped and squealed. My tear-stained face looked to Craig's. He was still calm. His hand on my shoulder.

" You didn't do anything wrong bucko. Wanna draw it out. I can see you aren't in a talking mood." He was as tranquil as a summer lake. I was confused but at this point, my voice was too tired and strained to fight back so I gave a meek nod. He grinned and dug around for some equipment.

Tweek's POV:

I was in the back corner, frightened and quivering. How is he so calm! Butters scream just came from hell itself, but he doesn't give a shit. His voice is so... harmonic. It's hypnotising. When he tugged the unnecessarily large notebook out his bag, he gazed at me and kissed my cheek.

" It's ok. You're ok." He reassured me in a hushed-tone. He's a mind-reader I swear. My cheeks lit up a deep coral* colour. He turned back to the convulsing boy and passed him the pad.

Craig's POV:

He scribbled down a few words and drawings. His breath was regulating and his pupils dilated back to their normal size. After a few minuets of silence, he passed it over. I stood up and shared the paper with Tweek. There was a picture with a boy labelled Scott Malkinson. Butters was helping him. That's what I decoded. We flipped to the next page. The same boy was hanging himself. Butters was in the corner with ' ** **IT'S ALL MY FAULT**** ' scribbled on top of him.

" Butters. You found a boy upset, and you got upset. He passed away, and you're upset?" I took a shot. He cocked his head.

" How-How did you ge-get it?..." He grimaced with a strained voice. Tweek was astonished too. He was still scratching his head figuring out where I got that from.

" W-" I was about to say something before a ear-piercing ring broke my train of thought.

" Ngh! It's 7! We're gonna be late!" Tweek murmured subconsciously.

" We can miss one day." I replied, grazing my hand across his elbow.

" I-I can't. Or I'll be permanently excluded..." Butters winced. Once again his tears spilled from his eye's. It was a silent sob. Me and Tweek wrapped are arms him.

" Ok ok. We'll get you through one day." Tweek soothed him with soft, emotional eyes. The small boy got up to his feet and roughly dried his eyes.

" I'm O-Ok." He coughed out. I smiled and Tweek gave a sigh of relief. We helped him out the door and to school.

\Time skip cuz guess what? I'M LAZY/

3rd Person's POV:

The trio made it just in time for their classes. Craig went off to his class. The two blonde boys shared their first class. They blended into the group as everyone swarmed in. Meanwhile, a certain orange parka boy was running late. He raced forward and grabbed onto the first person's arm he saw. It was , of course, Butters' arm. He flinched but recognised Kenny quickly.

" Sorry about that!" McCormick pardoned himself. The other boy smiled softly and gestured a ' no problem'. They headed inside and took their seats next to each other. Kenny brought Butters head to his chest to deafen his hearing. The teacher began the say with addressing the recent suicide. Kenny knew this would go wrong before it barely started. He could tell it. Butters gave a perplexed look, but he was too tired to move away.

The teacher continued to ramble on and on. Kenneth looked down to see the sweet little boy sleeping soundly.

" Heh. I told him that book would give him nightmares." He sighed. It was sorta trapping though. He didn't want to wake the boy. So he just wouldn't do any work. Wouldn't be the first time. He was in the back so no one was really paying attention to him. Except from Tweek. The boy kept glancing back and giggling. Suddenly, my phone vibrated.

I looked at the text.

 _Tweekers:_

 _The ship has sailed!_

 _Me:_

 _Stfu and kiss craig's ass_

I smirked back at him. He stuck his tongue out at me and turned back to his work.

A few minuets before the bell, the sleeping boy began to stir and bat his eyes open.

" Heya sleeping beauty." I greet quietly. He mumbled and groaned, stretching himself upright. He rubbed the tiredness from his face and beamed at me.

" Good morning? You decided to stay over at mine?" He asked, confusing here with his home.

" You fell asleep during class." I cleared up. He gasped and looked around frantically.

" Don't worry, ya woke up right in time." I counted down from 5 on my fingers, predicting the blaring bell. We all swarmed out.

" Um McCormick, Stotch? Where are your papers?" The teacher raised an eyebrow. Butters was visibly sweating. Kenny shrugged and blew it off, leading Butters out the room. Mr. Teacher guy yelled something at them but they didn't hear it. The past classes sped by and in what seemed like 30 minutes it was dinner.

Butters POV:

Surprise, Surprise I had no money to buy anything. I slipped by everyone into the bathroom stalls. I pull my pants down to show more scattered scars on my thighs. These were where my more deeper scars hide. No one ever finds them. I pushed it into my skin and paused. Hyperventilation took over my lungs. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and tugged it across my whole upper thigh. An absurd amount of blood came pouring out. A surge of panic running through me, I pulled a piece of paper out fiercely and dabbed it onto the oozing cut. As that was drying up, I copied the same act onto my opposing leg. I pulled up my pants and groaned as they had a spillage of blood on the side. I'll just say I was bumped into by someone with Kool-Aid. I strolled out and into the cafeteria, taking the empty seat next to Kyle.

" Hey Butters heard ya skipped on the test. Was that an weak attempt to impress your crush or you were to thick to try, faggot." Cartman sneered. I looked down.

Kenny POV:

I felt anger brew up inside of me. If he makes Butters cry, I fucking swear he'll be another corpse in the graveyard.

" Cartman shut up or I'll shove my fist down your goddamn throat." I threatened raising my fist up.

" Oooh getting protective of your girlfriend?" I bit my lip and knocked him right in the face. He cursed and kicked my in the stomach. I was so close to snapping his neck, but I saw Butters creeping up behind fatass. I backed up and raised my hands in 'surrender'. Butters pinched him in the neck. It was some kind of a knock out technique because the huge abomination fell unconscious.

" One: I'm a boy. Two: I have a girlfriend. THREE: I AM SMARTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!" The small blondie began kicking at the boy.

I have to admit, that second point irritated me.


	3. Chapter 3

****Dear Tracker,****

 ** **Ok my writing's really messy cuz I'm panicking big time. My heart feels like it's gonna choke me. Why'd I do that. I just lost it. IM NOT A BAD PERSON I SWEAR! I'm hiding behind the trash, is that a good hiding place? No one's found me. Doubt they're looking for me. You know when you become self aware of an action, like walking, and you forget how to do it? That's me with breathing now. I m being ho nest. I c ant****

3rd Person's POV:

The boy's face became cold and blue. His throat tightened and he fell to his side. Kenny, who was searching for him, saw the stagnant body on the floor and bolted to it. He crouched down and lifted up the ice cold face. He gulped upon seeing the innocent boy with his eyes rolled back and his tongue to the side of his mouth. Swiftly, he place his limp limbs into a position he had learnt from the hospital then distraughtly peered around. There was a small group of people gathering round. They stared in awe. McCormick growled as some were even taking pictures.

" What the fuck is wrong with all of you? Call an ambulance don't fucking take photos!" He snapped. One mentally sound person began dialling and passed it to Kenny, slipping it between his shoulder and cheek. It rang for a bit but eventually they answered.

" 911 what's your emergency?" The lady addressed.

" We have two unconscious boys!" McCormick replied in a growing panic.

" Ok I'm transferring you to our ambulance line, please hold." She requested. The orange parka boy snarled something under his breath whilst hold music played into his ears. By nearly the whole school was either around Cartman or Kenny and Butters. He jumped once the ambulance operator picked up the line.

" South Park health service, what is the problem?" The male operator asked again.

" WE HAVE TWO UNCONSCIOUS KIDS FOR CHRIST SAKE!" He yelled, his worry morphing into frustration.

" Stay calm, sir. Where is your address?"

" South park elementary. The only school here dumbass." He murmured the last part.

" Ok we're sending our team. Whilst you wait, could describe their current state?"

" One of them has a blue cold face and his heart beat's slowing down bit by bit. The other I recall has a bruise on his neck."

" Are you aware how this happened?"

" Nope." He lied blatantly. Something told him that it wouldn't make for an acceptable story.

" Ok put your hand on his chest and count how many times his heart beats in a minute." Kenny agreed and felt it for around a minute.

" 50 Times."

" Oh gosh... Ok they should be here now, are they?"

"1. Why did you say oh gosh? 2. I can faintly hear them."

" Ok they'll be coming in around now just follow what they say. Goodbye." They both hung up and a team of people came in with two power stretchers and carried them outside.

Tweek's POV:

Me and Craig decided to linger round the halls instead of the cafeteria. So it explains why I might've freaked out when I saw my best friend being carried out by 4 men.

" ARGH! CR-CRAIG WHAT'S HAPPENING!" I shook him in a frenzy. He held my hands kissed my forehead.

" Listen I don't know but if there's an ambulance here than he was hurt. That means he getting help at the least." He theorized. I took a grip on his wrist and lead him outside. There were two blaring yellow vehicles outside the school. I winced as we caught sight of Butters. A red booklet whisked in the wind. Craig sprung up to catch it.

" Butters log book. Must've fallen out his pocket." Craig said dismissively. He loosely handed it to me. I flipped to the first page. Is this betraying his privacy? Aw Hell.

 ** **Dear tracker,****

 ** **Hiya tracker! It's me! Um my therapist told me to keep this no matter what. Write down my symptoms, feelings or what my current state of mind is. Right now my head is banging and I might puke. Its probably the flu. But as for my feelings and mind. I'm pretty calm. I think? Its only been a bit. Anyways talk, or should I say write, to ya later.****

 ** **1/07/18****

" Awe that's adorable, ain't it?" Craig commented. A shiver trailed down my spine. Maybe because I was not ready to hear him out of the blue, so close to my ear. I shoved him with my elbow playfully.

" GAH! Craig don't do that!" I whined in a childish voice. He snickered and swung me into a bridal style hug.

A whisper emerged from my lips. " Why and how are you so calm." He sighed.

" Maybe because I know whenever I have you everything's ok." He grinned. I rolled my eyes at the cheesy sentiment.

Craig's POV:

Yes that was cheesy. It wasn't all a lie though. When around other people, I'm fine. I look like I have it all down. That's because I have to look strong. My boyfriend has ruthless anxiety and a kid who is practically my adopted son has serious mentally issues that are killing him day by day. I have to look strong to help them. A secret thing I tend to do is when I'm alone, I break something I don't need to let of team. Normally a pencil. I don't mind being the one who can calm them down. It feels like an honour.

" Gah Craig you're soooo romantic." Tweek batted his eyelashes and mimicked a fainting motion.

Out of the blue, the emergency bell rang. Me and my boyfriend linked arms and headed back inside. That emergency bell meant emergency assembly in the school auditorium. We climbed the bleachers to the top. He blushed presumably because this is the same place Wendy showed the *ahem* rather detailed pictures of us two. It's also where we first kissed and you can already guess where this is going. My arms crossed behind my head, and I raised my left leg onto his lap. He buried his warm face into his shaking hands.

" Craigggg Stoooop!" His voice was muffled into his hands. Tweek peered through his blonde spiky hair, as he heard the Pc Principle tapped the microphone.

" Ok is everyone listing ok o- LESIE SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" He bellowed at the girl with a yellow sweater designed with an weird alien on it. I swear I saw her glitch or something. She whimpers, putting her hands in her lap.

" Anyway! I've called you all here because of the accidents during lunch." A dreary atmosphere lingered around the kids. No one wanted to speak about it from what I concluded. Whilst examining the room in the long lasting silence, I was surprised to see no Kenny. Obviously skipping out again. Boy does that bring along memories.

Since 1st Grade me and Kenny were the closest friends could get. We skipped out on classes together and a few years back we used to take hits behind the school. Even during the whole 'yaoi' fiasco he was still right there. People like us, we look like we don't care. Why do we need to? If it doesn't physically harm us we don't give two flying fucks. When it's our loved ones however...

 ** **That's a whole other hell...****


End file.
